Why Do We Think Talking about Adoption is Taboo?

There is one topic that people tend to avoid talking about, and that seems to be adoption. Sure, on paper it seems like it is a topic which shouldn’t be a big deal, but somehow there are some many people who think bringing up the subject is something we should never talk about.  I always find it funny how people think that the word “adoption” has negative connotations.

My parents adopted my baby brother when I was in 4th grade. He was three days old.  He was unexpected, like a small package I didn’t know existed before. But he was my brother.  Although it would appear to be obvious, most people avoid talking asking about it. A couple of years back, someone had said some weird comment about if my mom had a secret lover, and that’s why me and my brother do not look alike.  I told them “Well , my brother is adopted”.

People gasped, and others reprimanded me “How dare you tell this secret of your brother’s origins”??”

But the truth is, my brother being adopted is a non issue in my house. It’s just a fact. Maybe it has helped that we both grew up in El Salvador but I will never forget when my brother was 4 years old. We were in a children class, and one of the little girls, Maryam, was telling us how her baby brother was coming home from the hospital.  Maryam was telling people how all babies are grown in the stomache, and that’s how you get a family. Lucas stood up, red faced and said “Well that’s a lie. I was picked up from the hospital and that doesn’t make me less of a family than you, just different”

Couldn’t have explained it better myself.  When people have the nerve to tell me “Has he met his REAL family yet? ” It always gets me ticked off, because we are his real family.  I can’t speak for my brother, I am sure that he might have liked to have siblings closer to his age but this assumption that you are not a real family is not really true.  I am sure at some point my brother might want to meet those people who gave him up, but that doesn’t make them family. Family are those who cared for you, who you grew up with, and while blood ties help you know who you are it’s not the only thing.

This is far from perfect, but I could never imagine a life without him.  I thank goodness my parents made that choice and gave me a chance to have a brother.  I hope others think of what an amazing opportunity this is, and think of adoption.

So next time you know someone is adopted, don’t be afraid to ask.

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3 thoughts on “Why Do We Think Talking about Adoption is Taboo?

  1. this is so true. my cousin is adopted from korea, and while it is pretty obvious that she was not born into her white family, it has never been an issue really. she and i grew up more like sisters than cousins, and as a kid i never even though about her looking different or being adopted. she was just my cousin, and we were family no matter how we looked.

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