The incredible misadventures of a lost traveller

While travelling I have to probably have the worst things people can have while travellig : Bad luck, extreme forgetfulness and a knack for getting into the most extreme situations. Over the years, I have reacted badly over these misadventures. In fact, you could say really badly. But the fact is, mostly I try to stay calm because I have an incredible belief that eventually, it will all work out.

So phase one : Denial. I lost my bus, my family gave me the wrong ticket, and I am in the middle of London… It’s ok, it isn’t really lost , I can probably bargain my way out of…

The taxi driver has is getting me lost...how can he not know where victoria station is? How could I have end up here and my bus is leaving in twenty minutes? How am I going to get into Holland?

Phase two : Bargaining. Trying desperatly do get my ticket for that day, trying to coax the taxi to get me there from amsterdam, trying to find a way back form whence I came.... ( It usually only works when I reach)

Phase three : Blubbering mess. Cry at airport stand/taxi/bus/dark corner I must get plane/train/bus/taxi. Cry some more. Look like insane cat lady from films. People take pity and give me money/ride/phone/marriage proposal.

Phase four : The kindness of strangers. Strangers get me directions/calm me down/ offer a helping hand. Get to destination just in time, or find another viable solution.
Most people engage in funny small talk but tend to avoid me after encounter.
Phase five : Relief. The misadventures are over...for now. Relax and sing and read book. Repeat like favourite shampoo until mass hysteria comes again.
Total time of adventures : An extra ten hours/day/week.

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